He held my hand!

img_7473Its been one month since I started anti-anxiety medication. I have noticed a big difference in my first born son. At the beginning of the school year this year we were struggling with tics (slapping leg, squeaking noises, “I hate you,” clearing throat/cough, snapping fingers, etc. He has had Lyme disease for just over 4 years now and we have many health challenges. He also struggles emotionally and doesn’t like to be touched, doesn’t hold eye contact well or express his emotions.

We tried adding supplements for calming (GABA, DHEA, a protein shake, Brain Power essential oil blend, Relieve It essential oil blend, Mineral Essence, Vitamin D (Garden of Life), and others) as direction by our Naturopath. We did see some positive results but still were looking for answers.

We contacted the local Child Find organization to conduct an evaluation. We had a well child visit with our pediatrician, a phone interview for possible autism and got on the list for the Children’s Hospital for an evaluation. (BTW I was very impressed with them! They really sought to know my child and not just assume that I was making up his Lyme issues. They all watched videos and read articles about Lyme, including this one that I thought was interesting about Lyme manifesting like Tourettes)

We got him into a former one day school that he was familiar with and considered homeschooling.

We talked with the teacher and tried to find some ways to give him breaks throughout the day (kinetic sand, books on cd, etc).

We paid $300 for an evaluation from Brain Balance Center and learned about a possible left brain dominance and him possibly not growing out of baby reflexes.

But I think the thing that has been the most beneficial is me. I hate to say it because I don’t like that fact that I am taking medication, but this change in my brain has helped me to be calm. Release the pressure of performance that I put on myself and didn’t realize I was putting on my kids. I have started to enjoy life, to laugh again, to really SEE my kids as individuals, and have had more consistency helping them navigate choices and consequences.

I am not perfect. But now instead of being mentally and physically exhausted as each day ends, each night we have essential oil foot rubs and pray for a friend and family member and I am truly interested in what their best and worst part of their day is!

While I was standing during worship this last Sunday singing in my characteristically off key way, he reached up and held my hand. There was no pomp and circumstance, he didn’t look at me, he didn’t say anything. He just held my hand. It was a beautiful victory!

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